OOZE, PLEASE BE DONE ALREADY

last night i was scared i had an infection because after i applied some neosporin, i started to run a fever along with more facial swelling and weird body chills. in the middle of the night i woke up to myself scratching the hell out of my neck. my neck was dripping with yellow ooze. i wrapped some gauze and tried to go back to sleep. woke up in the morning and the gauze was stuck to my neck. i had to slowly rip it off. it was drenched. ugh, so not only is the ooze affecting my face but now it's my neck. there's this white, filmy, sticky, residue that lays on top of my skin. i'm assuming it's the clear kind of ooze that has dried right after it seeps out of your pores. i went to the doctor earlier to get it checked out. doc says there are no signs of serious infection. the swelling and fever was probably because of the neosporin (i have a sulfa allergy). he could prescribe me antibiotics if i really wanted them but it wasn't necessary. i agreed. i also asked for some ambien to help me sleep. i haven't had a good nights rest since starting this damn thing. i take over 7 pills of 25mg of hydroxyzine at night and i still can't sleep nor does it help the itching anymore.

i have to go back to work on monday. not sure if i want to go back like this….

HAPPY NEW YEAR?

2014 is starting off really…horrible. after xmas, i had a couple days of alright skin but now i am entering into another flare. i've had this weeping sore underneath my left eye for the past couple of weeks. it healed up for a couple days but then it came back and also spread to the rest of my face. i am now experiencing my first full-facial oozing fest. yay. the sore under my eye has grown to become really big. kind of scared since it's so close to my eye. when i was younger, i was hospitalized with eczema herpeticum and my eyes were sealed shut for a week.  i'm going to watch it carefully. tomorrow, if it feels worse, off to the doctor i go to get some antibiotics. as for the rest of my face, my eyebrows, whole right cheek, and jawlines are raw and oozing. at first, i thought it was dry skin so i peeled/rubbed it off. 1 minute later the "skin" started to grow back. i was like WTF i just peeled you! so i peeled it off again. a couple minutes later the crusty layers came back. then this is when i realized i shouldn't touch it anymore because it's an ooze fest and it needs to dry up. today will be the first time i use domeboro -- the hallmark trade of TSW :(

FOR MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY

i've recently decided to tell my family and close friends what i've been going through lately. in the first 2 months of my TSW, i was scared for people to know. i thought everyone would write it off as one of the many crazy things i've self-diagnosed myself with in the past, which i am totally guilty of. but this is real and i can not wait to heal and have a normal life again.

here are a couple blogs of people that have gone through TSW and inspired me to do the same:

http://antisteroid.wordpress.com - Juliana

http://www.curingredskinsyndrome.blogspot.com - Rochelle

http://misskittydefeatseczema.blogspot.co.uk - Miss Kitty

http://redskinsyndrome.squarespace.com - Joey

http://topicalsteroidwithdrawal.blogspot.com - Louise


here's a video that best explains what is going on with me:

MERRY XMAS!

so here is my skin right now. what a difference a couple days make! i was pretty bad in that video i posted earlier. anyways, the redness on my face has subsided tremendously. my neck and chest are still the same, however. i believe my skin improving is due to the fact that i finally got my period after 3 months. the 2nd day of my period is when the redness started to go down right away. hopefully my cycle continues to stay normal at 1x a month.

VIDEO BLOG

i made a video to share my story and where i am at today.

2.5 MONTHS

for the past couple of weeks my skin has gotten progressively worse. it's heart breaking. for some reason, i thought i would have it a little "easier" than everyone else. not sure why i thought that but i guess i was being overly hopeful. the rashes have turned into full, raised, and hive-y rashes. my neck rash is now creeping over my jawline and into my face. my forehead and around my eyes are red. the crooks of my arms are now creeping up to my arm pits. i have an oozing open sore under my left eye and a bit of raw oozing skin in between my eyebrows. speaking of eyebrows, they're starting to fall off at a rapid rate.

the other day i tried moisturizer withdrawal. it lasted only 1.5 days. it was so incredibly painful and paralyzing. my skin started to "crinkle". i did notice that i wasn't as itchy and my redness subsided a little. but i am not sure if i have the willpower to do it for any longer. now that i have moisturizer back on my skin it is back to being itchy and red.

i'm going to do a video blog soon. for some reason i can't take pictures right now. i am so devastated. i am so scared to see my family over the holidays. filipinos have a knack for being really loud and incredibly obnoxious. it's a culture thing. when i see them i know they're just going to stare and talk about my skin out loud. ugh, i feel so alone.

DAY 55 - ALMOST 2 MONTH MARK

last night was terrible. sunday night i had an omelette for dinner. i used my trustworthy local farm, carnivorous, corn-free, soy-free eggs. i haven't had eggs in awhile because of its high histamine content but i decided to live a little. the next day my skin was on fire. the itch was incredible. my office had the heater running all day yesterday too and i think it aggravated my already flaring, allergic skin.

when i got home from work i immediately washed my face and tried going to bed. an hour later i couldn't resist anymore. the itch was unbearable. so i let myself scratch. alot. it was all a blur. i had rage in my eyes. i was crying profusely because i regret what i was doing yet it felt so good. it was relief for the first time in days. i itched so hard and so long that at one point i gave up. i didn't care how horrible my skin was going to be the next day so i kept scratching for another 30 minutes while screaming and balling my eyes out. mike was so sad to watch me like this. after i was done i went straight to the shower to calm down. showers always help me. they throw me out of the itch cycle.. after my skin was red and raised so high above my normal skin. i was also oozing like crazy. i wrapped my neck in an old t-shirt and went to bed. 

when i woke up this morning i was surprised to see that my skin actually looked better than it has all week? i then realized it was because of my fake acrylic nails. because they're so rounded, smooth, and thick, it prevented me from tearing my skin apart. hopefully these don't fall out anytime soon...